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 The Sand, the Scribe and Summer Vacation

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Tears_of_Thoth
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PostSubject: The Sand, the Scribe and Summer Vacation   Thu Jan 18, 2007 11:15 pm

I will try to post as much as I can. This is probably my 2nd or 3rd draft, I can never keep track, lol. Warning: It's very looooooong.
A few notes before I start:
-Kahun is a fictional town, but is based on my own
-Merytre means "beloved of Re." Re was the supreme sun god.
-Waset was the ancient name for what is now Luxor
-Bes was a minor house god
-Napoleon really did have a campaign in Egypt
If I gave out any more info, it would spoil the current part of the story.
Enjoy!


The Sand, the Scribe, and Summer Vacation
By: Alanna T.

Prologue:
Kahun, Pennsylvania
June 2005, A.D.


The girl sat quietly on the curb at Kahun Junior High School, her summer-sky eyes looking off into the distance. The wind played with her dark hair as the sun turned her skin the color of bronze. Her thirteen-year-old mind was caught up in thoughts of summer vacation. Probably just another summer of digging with my weirdo parents. Why did they become archaeologists? Ugh.
“Kiya!” Her friend’s voice disturbed her thoughts.
“Is that you, Laurel?” Kiya stood up, blue eyes recovering from daydreaming. “Let me guess, you want me to sign your yearbook?”
“Yeah, do it quick, the bus is waiting for me!”
Kiya took Laurel’s yearbook and signed it: Have a cool summer! Your BFF, Kiya N. Goneim
“See you in high school!” Laurel quickly hugged her friend, then scampered up the steps of the bus.
“See you, too.” At that point, a brown sedan car pulled up to the curb. “Kiya, come on!” yelled her older brother.
“Coming, Alex!” She ran to the car.
After closing the door, plopping herself in the front passenger seat, and putting on a set of iPod earbuds, she suddenly realized what awaited her at home.
“Hey, Alex, did Mom and Dad tell you where were going this year?”
“Um, yeah. I think I better let them explain,” he replied while driving. “You’re probably not going to like it.”
“Oh, gosh, I think I know now.” Kiya rolled her eyes. “I’ve been there a gazillion times! I’m sick of it!”
At that point, Alex parked in the driveway of 15 Sirius Street, the modest residence of Professors Ibrahim and Sia Goneim.


Waset, Egypt
Season of the Inundation, 1305 B.C.


It was a still night in the desert, the quiet being broken only by the eerie calls of the local jackal population. A large house, on the very edge of the city, stood in a small grove of palm trees.
In that house, owned by Heqanakhte, chief of tomb police, thirteen-year-old Merytre sat up in bed. Her brown eyes widened when she recalled her dream.
A blue-eyed daughter of Horus? My brother? What a ridiculous dream! Or maybe the gods are trying to tell me something…
“Merytre, I want a story!” Her three-year-old sister had walked sleepily into her room and began tugging on her arm.
Merytre looked down at her little sister, then sighed. “Nefertari, Mother will have to tell it to you. I have to be practicing tomorrow morning. I need sleep. Perhaps some other night. Here, I’ll take you to Mother.”
However, Nofret had heard them and was already standing in the doorway. “Come here, Nefertari.” The little girl promptly ran to her mother. “Merytre, I’ll take care of her. Go back to sleep, now. Pharaoh’s festival is in a few days and His Majesty wants you to play your harp for the crowd.”
“I know, Mother, but I just had a strange dream. Then Nef came in here.”
“Tell me about it tomorrow. Now, may Bes guard the rest of your sleep, tonight.” And with that, she left the room, Nefertari in hand.



Chapter I:
The Doors

Kiya slammed her backpack down and groaned.
“Not the Valley of the Nobles this year! There’s not a single mall nearby!” she whined.
Dr. Ibrahim Goneim turned from packing his suitcase to look at his daughter. “Kiya you shouldn’t concern yourself so much with malls. Just think, this will be a great educational experience!”
She rolled her eyes. “Yeah, yeah, yeah, an educational experience. It’s the same boring junk you say every year! Why can’t you be like normal parents and take me to Disney World or something? I still loathe last year’s trip to Rome!”
This time, Sia Goneim looked up, her eyes as blue as her daughter’s. “Honey, the flight is leaving tomorrow night. You have no choice. Your father and I need to finish excavation on that tomb we found two years ago. Whether you like it or not, we’re going to Egypt. Archaeology has always run in our family and it will continue to run.”
“Can’t you guys act like normal adults instead of extraterrestrials? Who cares about that old junk, anyways?”
“Kiya Nefertari Goneim, go to your room. I will not tolerate such talk.” Ibrahim said in a scolding parent’s voice.
“Fine then, maybe I will,” Kiya retorted.
She had just stomped into her room and was about ready to slam the door shut when Alex came in, carrying the family pet. The family pet happened to be Bastet, a silvery Egyptian Mau cat with luminous green eyes.
“Alex, go away.”
“I know, I know, I heard the whole works. I suppose you’re going to blow up on me now, right?” He let the cat down and ran a hand through his curly dark hair.
“Alexander Ptolemy Goneim, which part of ‘go away’ do you not understand?”
He sighed, brown eyes downcast. “Look, Kiya, I came in here to help you. I know Mom and Dad seem psycho, but they seriously do take care of us. And they’re right about archaeology running in the family. Ever since Great-great-great-grandfather Horace, anyways.”
“You actually believe that I-don’t-care-how-many-greats grandfather was real? Come on, what Frenchman in Napoleon’s army would have wanted to stay in Egypt? Let alone fall in love there.”
“What do you mean you don’t believe? You and Mom are living proof! Look at your eyes! And Grandfather was also an excellent scientist before he eloped with his love.”
“He eloped?” Kiya laughed. “I find it too mushy and yet I’m living proof of it.’
“There, now you have to believe it!” Alexander exclaimed, as Bastet rubbed her cheek on Kiya’s jeans. “I’m just telling you, real life can be very weird.”
“Yeah, that’s nice, but what does that have to do with anything?” Kiya replied as she stroke the cat’s silver fur.
It has a lot to do with everything, Kiya.
Kiya nearly jumped at the voice in her head. “Is that you, Alex?”
“No, why are you asking?”
“I-I h-hear a voice in m-my head.”
Real life can be weird. As yours is about to become.
“Bastet, is that you?” She looked down and saw the cat’s eyes fixed on her.
Alex was puzzled. “Why are you talking to the cat?”
“Bastet, if it’s really you, talk to my brother. Otherwise, I’ll look like someone from the clinic.”
Alexander, you are her sibling. I bring this message only for her.
“Ok, Kiya, I think I’ll replace the word ‘weird’ with ‘freaky’. Gosh, it sounds like she’s making you the ‘chosen one’ or something.”
“Shush, Alex.”
The Benu has heard your complaints, O Kiya, daughter of the sky. He has chosen you. You are to open a door in the sands. At that, Bastet’s eyes returned to their regular look. The cat jumped off the bed and scurried to another room, probably in search of the litter box.
“Okaaaaay, that was really freaky. Now, let’s get on with-“
“You heard her, you peabrain! Her last sentence is likely a riddle or prophecy!”
“Yeah, Alex, I really believe in that. I think you’re now officially crazier than I am.”
“Gee, I could shove a 1000-gig iPod under your nose and you still wouldn’t believe it was there! Seriously, sister, there’s more to life than being skeptical!”
“Whatever, Alexander, you’re about as psycho as Mom and Dad, who named you after two Macedonian freaks.”
“Fine by me. At least I’m not crabby and pessimistic. And they’re not Macedonian freaks, Alexander the Great owned much of the known world and Ptolemy was one of his generals.” Alex sighed again. “I think you should just do as the folks say and start packing. The plane leaves tomorrow at seven in the morning.”


Three Weeks Later
Valley of the Nobles, Luxor, Egypt


The Goneims had uncovered the reburied tomb. They had discovered it two years before, but postponed excavation due to a dig near Rome. The tomb was modest in comparison to a pharaoh’s, but it contained well-preserved paintings showing scenes from the dead man’s life. Unfortunately, thieves had already stripped the outer chambers of their contents, leaving only the occasional pottery shard. But there was still a chamber that had not been opened and an inscription near its entrance stated that the robbers had been caught.
Ibrahim nearly tripped over something. He picked it up and examined it.
“It looks like this tomb’s owner was a scribe.” The little statuette that had nearly caused his fall depicted a man sitting, a papyrus scroll spread over his lap. “Alexander, number this and put it with the other objects found in the antechamber.”
“Sure, Dad.” As Alex took the statue away, Sia peered through a hole in the stone of the sealed chamber.
“Ibrahim, honey, come look at this!” The unopened chamber was indeed the burial chamber. Several of the things the man would have used in life lay near the painted sarcophagus. “I say we open it!”
“That’s great! But I can’t find the tomb owner’s name!” Dr. Goneim shouted back to his wife.
While all the discoveries were going on, Kiya sat in a dusty corner of the tomb, sulking. She was sick of the million-degree weather and those weird people she didn’t want to be related to shouting every time they found something.
“This is so it; I’m running away.” She scampered out of the tomb shaft and sneaked away to the little tent where she and Alexander stayed when they weren’t excavating. Once in there, she stuffed her iPod, laptop, energy bars, bottled water, spray-on sunscreen, sunglasses, a diary, two pens, three pencils, first-aid kit, cell phone, and a picture of Bastet into her backpack. Kiya was about ready to escape when-
“The press is here, Kiya. Don’t you want to meet them?” It was Alex. Kiya quickly slipped the backpack behind her.
“Alex, what makes you think that I want to talk to some nerds? Why do they even care about that dumb tomb?”
“Well, it is the media, and you always talk about being famous.”
“Yeah, famous, but not for this. Definitely not for this.”
“Ok, fine then. Be your usual grouchy, skeptical self.” Alex zipped up the tent flap.
Kiya breathed a long sigh of relief, then grabbed the backpack. She unzipped the tent flap and peered out. She saw her parents and Alexander talking to a camera crew, then slipped out. The tomb was right in front of a stretch of desert that would eventually lead to the city of Luxor. It would be challenging to sneak behind her family and climb the area over the tomb entrance, but she felt she could do it.
But as she was about to do that, Kiya felt herself being drawn back into the tomb itself. She clambered down the shaft, ran through the antechamber, and found the burial chamber gaping open. A notebook lay on the floor near the sarcophagus. It was her father’s notes.
She looked at the open book and saw that her dad had scribbled some hieroglyphics in it. He had also written what he thought the translation was:
SNNDJM
“Gee, that’s a weird word. I wonder why he cares.” Kiya tossed the notebook back onto the floor, stirring up a cloud of dust. “I’m sick of this place anyway. It’s a sweatbox full of junk.” She spitefully kicked the sarcophagus.
Unfortunately for her, a pit opened up beneath her feet, into which she promptly fell, screaming.
However, there seemed to be nothing dangerous in the pit. It contained nothing except a hall full of strange doors. “Oh, gosh. Don’t tell me I have to play Indiana Jones now,” she told herself aloud. The entrance above had shut. “Well, looks like I have to,” she groaned.
She decided to open the door at the end. As she walked to it, Kiya noticed something strange. All the doors were made of different materials. And each had various languages carved on it. There were doors of granite, gold, steel, copper, and other materials. “This is very freaky. I guess the cat was actually right about a door.”
The door at the end was made of limestone. Kiya noted that it was the only door covered in Egyptian hieroglyphics. It also depicted a large, magnificent bird. “Gosh, maybe I should have let Dad teach me some more of those thingies.”
She opened it. A golden light shot out, nearly blinding her.
“I guess it’s not booby-trapped. Well, here goes nothing.”
Kiya stepped into the light.

Chapters 2 and 3 will be up as soon as possible!

_________________

May your ka live, and may you spend millions of years, you lover of Thebes, sitting with your face to the north wind, and your eyes beholding happiness.
--inscribed on the Wishing-Cup of Tutankhamun


Last edited by on Tue Feb 06, 2007 6:22 pm; edited 1 time in total
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PostSubject: Re: The Sand, the Scribe and Summer Vacation   Fri Jan 19, 2007 6:18 pm

Wow.
You are very good at writing.
I like how you told like where they were,
Like you said "Three Weeks Later."
That helped alot!
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PostSubject: Re: The Sand, the Scribe and Summer Vacation   Fri Jan 19, 2007 6:39 pm

Hehe, yeah. Thank you.
Since this story involves switching perspectives, I had to do time and location to avoid confusing people.
Sorry, but 2 and 3 will not be posted until at least late next week. The reason for that is because I am probably going to Philly tomorrow for Chinese New Year, and also have to study for my mid-term exams.

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May your ka live, and may you spend millions of years, you lover of Thebes, sitting with your face to the north wind, and your eyes beholding happiness.
--inscribed on the Wishing-Cup of Tutankhamun
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PostSubject: Re: The Sand, the Scribe and Summer Vacation   Mon Jan 29, 2007 7:17 pm

And here is the long-anticipated Chapter 2!


Chapter II:
The Stranger of the Sands

Merytre took her harp outside, to the desert near her house. She found it easier to practice out here, with only her father’s brown greyhound Abasi to listen to her playing. A breeze picked up, blowing sand all over her white linen dress. She wore a white headband over her braided wig, but her jewelry consisted only of a little faience amulet depicting Isis and a delicate gold bangle. There was more jewelry at home, but her father had warned her not to wear it due to the tomb robbers that he patrolled the area for.
She started strumming the instrument with her delicate fingers, same as she had done since she was a child. As the music flowed from the nine strings, she sang a song she thought Pharaoh would be pleased with. It must have been a good song, for Abasi began to howl along with it.
“Silly dog! But I don’t mind.” She put down the harp and rubbed the greyhound’s back. But he only growled in response as his ears pricked towards the desert. And away he bounded.
“Abasi, stop!” The dog promptly stopped, but still sniffed the air. Merytre caught up to him, harp in tow. “What is it, boy? What’s bothering you? Show me.”
The dog sniffed and sniffed, Merytre close behind. As soon as he found it, he sniffed excitedly around it.
A body was lying on the sand. Merytre shooed the dog away and checked its heart. The body, which was female, seemed alive after all. She had probably fainted from the unforgiving heat.
Merytre studied the stranger’s appearance very carefully. This person appeared to be a foreigner. She wore trousers made of a rough, blue material. Her white shirt was adorned with foreign words and she had no sign of adornment save for the silver studs in her ears.
“Wherever you come from, stranger, doesn’t matter at the moment. You need some help.” Merytre spoke to the girl to see if she would wake up. But there was no reply save for a murmer like one makes in sleep.
“Abasi, come. I need to get Father. I cannot carry this stranger and the harp at the same time.” The dog promptly obeyed and bounced along happily beside her as they returned home.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Heqanakhte was quietly enjoying a game of senet with his wife. It had been a long night, for he had arrested several robbers and continued to patrol until the late morning. Just as he was about to take his turn, however-
“Father, Mother!” Merytre burst through the door, the greyhound at her heels. The family cat bolted out of the room as Abasi started chasing it. “There’s a stranger stranded out there in the desert! I would have helped her, but I couldn’t carry her and the harp! Please, Father, you can carry her, can’t you?”
Her father took one wistful look at the gameboard, but quickly stood up. “Do you remember where she is, Merytre?”
“Abasi found her, some distance behind our house.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kiya had a vague feeling of being lifted. That’s strange. I guess I must be dreaming again. The desert air had a soporific effect, so her thoughts ceased and she fell into a deep sleep.
Two hours before, the mysterious door had dropped her in another pit, which she was quick to climb out of. Not knowing what to do, she thought she had spotted lots of houses in the distance, and immediately began to run towards them. But they were farther off then Kiya had estimated, and running tired her. She opened her backpack, ate one of the energy bars, and took a sip of water. Then she lay down for what she thought was a simple nap on a dune.
It wasn’t so simple after all.

One hour later

Bundled in the thin blanket of a low wooden bed was a lump. The lump began to move and opened its blue eyes. It pushed the blanket off and sat up.
“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!” was what the lump, named Kiya, said. She had just realized that the room contained no air-conditioning whatsoever despite the temperature feeling more than a hundred degrees. The floor had a few tiles decorated with swirl patterns, but was otherwise nothing but dirt. A pair of reed sandals sat by the bed. A painted wooden chest was in one corner, adjacent to a folding stool and a little table with an oil lamp on top of it. The room was sparsely furnished.
This better be the Pharaonic Village and not what I think it is! There is no way I could have landed in-
The door creaked open, allowing Kiya to see the site that confirmed where and when she was. The girl had sweet brown eyes with black eyeliner reaching her temples. Her own hair peeked out from behind a braided wig. A delicate gold bangle enhanced her golden skin and seemed to match her white linen dress. Kiya looked at the girl, then looked at herself to discover that she was dressed in a similar fashion
“Hello, stranger. Is something bothering you? I thought I heard you scream,” the girl shyly asked her.
Kiya found she could understand her speech perfectly. “Um, no, it was nothing, I was just wondering where my clothes were. I’m Kiya, by the way.” I can’t believe she took my jeans and my “It’s all about me” shirt!
“I’m Merytre, and your Egyptian is very good! See my chest over there? I put your things in it. There was so much sand on you that Mother and I had to bathe you. I have more questions for you, but you should answer them after some food. Come.”
Kiya rolled out of the low bed and followed her into a hallway. A yellow tabby cat shot past her, yowling as a brown greyhound bolted after it. “That’s Abasi, Father’s hunting dog. As you can tell, he does not like Miuty.”
A little girl peeked out of another room and giggled at the sight of the two animals. She happily ran up to Merytre, who hugged her. “And this is my little sister, Nefertari. Nef, say hello to Kiya.” Little Nefertari looked up at Kiya with wide eyes and murmered “Hello” before dashing back to her older sister, who took her hand as they walked to dinner.

In 2005 A.D:

Alexander was carefully marking a pottery shard outside the tomb. I wonder where Kiya is? I thought I saw her get out of the tent a few minutes ago. At least those dumb press people are-
He heard a shriek behind him. It sounded like his sister. Dropping the pottery shard, he ran inside the burial chamber. “Kiya?”
There was no answer, but he noticed his father’s notebook lying nearby, with another object near it. Alex picked up the notebook and read it aloud.
“SNNDJM? Who is that? Oh, I guess Dad found the tomb owner’s name. But what’s this thing? I didn’t see it before.” He picked it up. It turned out to be a feather, a large, blue feather that shone yellow when he held it to the sunlight. “Weird. I better tell Dad about this and Kiya. I hope she’s alright, wherever she is.”

_________________

May your ka live, and may you spend millions of years, you lover of Thebes, sitting with your face to the north wind, and your eyes beholding happiness.
--inscribed on the Wishing-Cup of Tutankhamun


Last edited by on Tue Feb 06, 2007 6:23 pm; edited 2 times in total
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PostSubject: Re: The Sand, the Scribe and Summer Vacation   Tue Jan 30, 2007 10:25 pm

Again.
I loved it to the maxx!!
I really do not see anything wrong with this story!

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PostSubject: Re: The Sand, the Scribe and Summer Vacation   Tue Jan 30, 2007 10:33 pm

Yeah, it was especially fun to write about little Nefertari and the dog and cat. Smile

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--inscribed on the Wishing-Cup of Tutankhamun
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PostSubject: Re: The Sand, the Scribe and Summer Vacation   Wed Jan 31, 2007 6:20 pm

I bet!

I am writing a play.
It is about a young girl who gets pregnant but like never did anything. Like a modern day mary and joseph thing.

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PostSubject: Re: The Sand, the Scribe and Summer Vacation   Wed Jan 31, 2007 8:24 pm

That sounds like a good idea.

I'm very mad right now. I was trying to upload this story to another site, and it deleted the whole thing! Crying or Very sad So, it's a good thing I posted it on this board, otherwise, I would have had to redo the whole thing.

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May your ka live, and may you spend millions of years, you lover of Thebes, sitting with your face to the north wind, and your eyes beholding happiness.
--inscribed on the Wishing-Cup of Tutankhamun
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PostSubject: Re: The Sand, the Scribe and Summer Vacation   Thu Feb 01, 2007 9:07 pm

OMG.

i wouldah of killed mah computah fo shur!

Sorry ghetto moment! lol.

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PostSubject: Re: The Sand, the Scribe and Summer Vacation   Thu Mar 08, 2007 11:43 pm

Raina! You have to know that I love you Smile

This was really very well written- I mean I have seen a lot of people who think that they can write, and they really cannot, but you my friend do have some talent, so please do keep writing. I actually didn't get to read all of it due to it's extreme length, lol and I kind of have problems reading long things on the computer, but I really did enjoy what I read. There were a few things, I hope you don't mind me saying, such as on the second part, where the girl wakes up, it was a bit confusing, mainly because I'm not too into Egypt stuff, and I really didn't understand it- also it could have been because I didn't read all of it.

Another thing- in that part^^ I'm guessing that that was in history..?? I'd make sure that I'd specify that she was speaking in Egyption (I'm assuming that they have a special language that they speak in?) and also, correct me if I'm wrong, seeing as you knwo much more about Egyption Culture then I do, but I'm not quite sure that they refered to their mom's as "mother", although like I said I could be wrong.

Another thing that I really enjoyed about it, was that it wasn't polluted with adjectives, which a lot of people tend to do; it had just the right amount of adjectives, and was written very well. But, all in all the grammar was nicely done, and everything seemed to be compiled nicely, and you seemed to have all of your facts straight.
I really look forward to reading the rest of it
Bri
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PostSubject: Re: The Sand, the Scribe and Summer Vacation   Sat Mar 10, 2007 5:37 pm

I'm actually not sure what kids would have called their mother, so I just put "mother" in there.
And also, you're right, I should have specified what language everyone was speaking in, since Kiya is magically granted the gift of Egyptian by *zips lips*. Wink All her English words that weren't originally in Egyptian (such as "iPod") stay in English. I think I confused a lot of poor souls over that one!

Thank you, I need all the encouragement I can get. Chapter 3 is driving me crazy. I know what the plot is going to be; I just can't seem to get it into clear, descriptive, and non-boring words. Mad

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May your ka live, and may you spend millions of years, you lover of Thebes, sitting with your face to the north wind, and your eyes beholding happiness.
--inscribed on the Wishing-Cup of Tutankhamun
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PostSubject: Re: The Sand, the Scribe and Summer Vacation   Fri Mar 16, 2007 6:54 pm

FINALLY!!!!!!!!!! I apologize for any hair-ripping that may have occured as you waited for this chapter. Thank you all for your extreme patience w/ me. I promise not to be so late next time. Smile

Chapter III
A Visit

In 1305 B.C:

“What a night!” Kiya flung herself on Merytre’s bed and stared up at the painted ceiling, which had white stars on a blue background.
It had been a night. Heqanakhte and Nofret were very polite, but quite clueless as to where she came from. She explained to them over a dinner of roasted duck and pomegranates.
“I come from across the ocean. It’s a long ways from here.”
“But from which country? I have not heard of one beyond the Great Green,” Heqanakhte inquired.
“America. I guess you don’t know about it?”
“Ameyrika? No, I have not, in all my travels.”
“Yeah, it’s great, we have a lot of stuff. Like malls and cars.”
“A mall? Cars?”
“A mall is like that bazaar out there, except it’s indoors. And a car is like a chariot without horses.”I hope he got that! Ugh…
“Interesting.”
That was only the beginning of all the explanations of her world. Kiya groaned when she remembered the iPod.
“What is that thing?” Little Nefertari asked.
“It’s an iPod. Wanna see how it works?”
“Yes!”
Kiya pressed the center button. And pressed it again. And again.
“Dang it, hang on.”
She tried resetting it. Still no response.
“I guess I’ll have to show you something else,” Kiya sighed and got out her laptop. She pressed the power button. No response.
“Looks like there’s no electricity. Anyways, the iPod can play music and this laptop can do a lot of, um, other stuff.”
“Show me more!”
“Ok, how about this?” She pulled out the picture of Bastet. “That’s my cat.” The whole family gathered to look at that one.
“Surely, no one painted that. How could you have obtained it?” Heqanakhte asked as he examined it.
“I used this.” She pulled out the cell phone. “Hmm, it actually works. Now, look at me.” She pressed a button, then showed them the results.
“Well, Kiya, nice magic,” Merytre laughed, “It looks just like us.”
After a dessert of honeycakes, Kiya went upstairs. She scrambled off Merytre’s bed as soon as she heard the knock on the door.
“Kiya, here is where you’ll be sleeping.” Merytre pointed to a reed mat on the other side of her bed. Upon seeing Kiya’s worried look, she added, “It is actually comfortable. You’ll need sleep. We are going to visit my brother tomorrow.”
“Your brother? You have a brother?”
“Yes, I suppose Father forgot to tell you about Sennedjem? He’s three years older than I am which makes him sixteen. He’s lived with Grandfather Rekhmire and Grandmother Ineri since he was six.”
“But how come he lives with them and not you?”
“It is a long story. Father’s family has been scribes for as many generations as we can remember. Father, however, did not want to be a scribe, but a tomb policeman. That greatly disappointed Grandfather. When Sennedjem was very young, he wanted to become a scribe, which greatly disappointed Father. So, he sent Sennedjem to live and train as a scribe with Grandfather and he’s lived there ever since. We visit him at every chance we get, especially after Grandmother died.”
“Oh. Well, that’s kinda sad. He must be pretty lonely. Doesn’t he ever visit you?”
“Not as often as we visit him. Especially not now. He is actually finished with his training, but lately, Grandfather’s been ill and he’s taking care of him.”
“He’s sick? Aren’t you bringing something to help him?”
“Physician Khety has already attended to him, for now. We’re just bringing a little gift for Sennedjem.” Merytre smiled, then continued, “It is growing late; I think we should both go to sleep.”

In 2005 A.D:

Alexander looked to make sure that his parents were asleep, then turned on his flashlight and carefully examined the feather he had picked up earlier. His dad had told him to put it with the other artifacts from the burial chamber, but he had secretly sneaked it into the camp. That was an easy task, since his parents were busy reporting Kiya’s disappearance to the authorities. He carefully beamed the flashlight around to check for scorpions, then concentrated on the feather.
It was long, about half the length of a peacock’s tail feather. The color was a different shade of blue at every unique angle. When Alex shone the flashlight directly on it, the blue turned into almost blinding gold. This thing is awesome. I wonder if it could have come from...
He shone the flashlight beneath the camp bed and noiselessly pulled out his pocket-sized Egyptology handbook. Alex flipped it to a page on mythological creatures, then put his hand over his mouth to keep from gasping. “No way…”
The feather was indeed that of the Benu bird; the ba of Re himself, and the guardian of time.

In 1305 B.C:

It was a good walking distance for the two girls to Rekhmire’s house, but Merytre convinced Kiya to stop her grumbling and enjoy the city. “Look over there! It’s the temple complex of Amun!”
“Yeah, whatev- whoa! You’re right! It’s huge!” Kiya stopped in her tracks. “And it’s beautiful.” Kiya had seen the ruins of the temple when she was five, but never thought that she would see it in its former glory. Paintings covered the huge pylon gate, its whitewashed walls brilliantly reflecting the rays of the sun. Obelisks and two huge statues of Pharaoh graced the front. She could barely imagine the insides.
“Kiya, come now, it’s not too far,” Merytre interrupted her imaginings.
The house of the Chief Scribe Rekhmire was in a lovely district, situated near similar whitewashed houses. A servant answered the door, but was asked to step aside by a young, refined voice. The voice belonged to a young man who resembled Heqanakhte in physical features only. He wore a linen tunic and a wig cut slightly above shoulder-length. Overall, he was a pleasant-looking thing, but his expression was cold and aloof until he saw his sister.
“Meryt! I thought you were too busy to visit us!” He beckoned her into the house.
“Of course, I wasn’t, Sennedjem, you goose!” she replied teasingly as she sat herself on a floor cushion, ”How is Grandfather doing?”
His face became serious again. “I called Physician Khety over yesterday and he did not have a good report. But he seems well today.” He finally bothered to look at Kiya, then asked Merytre in a lower voice, “Who is that sky-eyed foreigner you’re with?”
“Sennedjem, she is a foreigner, but she’s very interesting to talk to. How I met her is a long story, so I’ll tell you later. Now, go introduce yourself. After all, I thought Grandfather taught you how to be courteous.”
Kiya was somewhat intimidated by his cold presence, but also felt a strangely positive feeling as she looked at him. It was the feeling of kindness, even though he hadn’t expressed any. “Um, hi, I’m Kiya.”
“Hello, I am Sennedjem, Merytre’s elder brother and Assistant Scribe of the First Granary of Waset.” He nodded politely, then turned back to Merytre. “Did you bring those herbs I asked about?”
“I did, and I brought something for you, too.” She pulled an expensive, little ivory scribe’s palette from her small linen bag and gave it to him. “I bartered off most of Mother’s old weaving to get it. This is her gift to you, to celebrate the end of your training and your new post.”
“It’s-it’s wonderful. Tell Mother my thanks.”
“Nefertari gave you something, too.” Merytre handed him a small pottery shard with a few childish ink scribbles covering one side. Sennedjem laughed at the sight of it, startling Kiya who had been watching this whole scene and feeling a little left out. He handled it as carefully as he had handled the precious palette. “How is Nef?” he asked. “And your harp-playing? I wrote you another song. I needed to write it; the taxes bore me.”
“Nef wanted to come see you, but Mother wanted her to stay home. She really misses you. Now, let me get Grandmother’s old harp so I can set the song to a tune. I think it was in the storerooms somewhere…” Merytre scurried off to find it, leaving Sennedjem facing Kiya, with both of them staring awkwardly at one another until Sennedjem broke the silence with a curious question: “Where are you from, Kiya? I have never seen a person with such blue eyes, save for Horus himself.”
“I’m from America. It’s far to the west. My mom always thought that Horus and my great-great-great-grandfather Horace L’oiseau were connected. But I don’t know and don’t really care.” She looked at him. “You know, your dad asked the exact same question, about where I came from.”
“Father was always an adventurous man. He would ask that of any foreigner,” Sennedjem sighed. “And yet, he rarely comes to visit us.”
Merytre returned with the harp. “I found it! Where’s the song?”
“Here.” Sennedjem handed her a scrap of papyrus.

In 2005 A.D:

Alexander continued to study the feather whenever he was alone. That particular day, he decided to test its strength while lounging in one corner of the research tent. It was strong for a feather; he could not break the shaft no matter how hard he pulled at it.
“Alex!” His dad was calling him. “Come down here!”
Alex gently stuffed the feather into his jean pocket, then ran down the tomb’s entrance shaft to the burial chamber below.
“Did you say this was where Kiya disappeared?”
“Yes, Dad.”
“How could she go missing in a tomb chamber, though? This is a very small tomb, after all. Are you sure her scream came from here?
“Yes, Dad, I’m absolutely sure.”
“What’s this?” Dr. Goneim took out a magnifying glass and studied a mark on the side of the dusty sarcophagus. It appeared to be a footprint. “It looks like the bottom of a sneaker; a sports sneaker. Like what Kiya would have worn.” Alexander pointed out.
“Why on earth would she kick the sarcophagus? Especially since I’ve told her many times not to damage the artifacts.” Ibrahim threw his hands up in desperation. “But I suppose that’s not important, at least for now. Did you find anything else in here, Alex, as in any evidence from Kiya?”
“Not really, Dad.”Liar, Alex told himself.
“Then I suppose we shall have to dig for it under this sand,” sighed Dr. Goneim.

_________________

May your ka live, and may you spend millions of years, you lover of Thebes, sitting with your face to the north wind, and your eyes beholding happiness.
--inscribed on the Wishing-Cup of Tutankhamun
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PostSubject: Re: The Sand, the Scribe and Summer Vacation   Tue May 08, 2007 4:17 pm

That was a seriously AWESOME story, Alanna! I do agree with those few things Bri said, like that the part where she was waking up was rather confusing. But I might just be dumb..lol

You are such a good writer, Alanna!!! I loved all three chapters!!!!! Are you gonna post more?
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PostSubject: Re: The Sand, the Scribe and Summer Vacation   Tue May 08, 2007 4:25 pm

Hallelujah! It's a post! I was afraid that the forum was going bye-bye!

I might just start the story over again. I came up with a better way to get her back in time than with the cheesy, Indiana-Jonesish doors. Also, I plan to delete the waking up part.

Thanks for your comments, though.

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May your ka live, and may you spend millions of years, you lover of Thebes, sitting with your face to the north wind, and your eyes beholding happiness.
--inscribed on the Wishing-Cup of Tutankhamun
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PostSubject: Re: The Sand, the Scribe and Summer Vacation   Tue May 08, 2007 4:49 pm

You're welcome. But you're not going to redo everything though, right? Because it's such a good story!
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PostSubject: Re: The Sand, the Scribe and Summer Vacation   Tue May 08, 2007 9:49 pm

No, no, not everything, just some of the details that need fixing. Smile

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--inscribed on the Wishing-Cup of Tutankhamun
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PostSubject: Re: The Sand, the Scribe and Summer Vacation   Mon May 14, 2007 12:42 am

Oh that's good. Cuz I thought if you were going to delete it all then you must surely be crazy!
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